Anniversary of an Uninteresting Event

Exactly one year ago this week, I first met him face-to-face… Our first date. Great night, minus the fact I drank too much and wound up in the bathroom. He thought I left without saying goodnight.
We used to laugh about having the most terrible first date ever. I had hoped we would come back to that bar on our future anniversaries and make more memories.
The end came before we could even have one.
Yet, here I am, still thinking of him fondly; enough so that sometimes I might shed a solitary tear when a happy memory sprouts in my mind.
I just don’t understand why I’m having such a hard time getting over this person. It’s been months. I have no hopes of ever reconciling with this man. Even if hell froze over and he asked for another chance I don’t think I could endure it again.
So why is he still on the brain?
Charlotte York always followed the rule that you must take half the duration of your relationship to get over a person. That seems pretty reasonable, but I have to disagree.
I’ve never loved anyone the way I loved him. Now I don’t know if I’ll ever love anyone like him again.
I’m perfectly happy just spending my free time with my son. He’s older now and needs more of my attention, which I’m happy to give him. I’m not really interested in taking the time and effort to date right now.
But deep down, I think I’m still not ready to accept the fact that I met the person I wanted to be with, the person I planned a future with, and he threw me away.
The unhappy memories aren’t the most painful, though. It’s the memories of out of town adventures, stupid jokes, afternoon delights, nights on the porch, watching him play with my son, the first time he said he loved me…these are the tearjerker moments.
Just when I got to that point I was close to moving on, the milestone cycle begins. Who knows how many of these cognitive anniversaries I’ll have to endure in the coming months?
And it always makes me wonder, “is he remembering today like I am?” Both the hopeless romantic and the vengeful bitch in me hope he is… Hoping he’s shaking his head and saying the same thing I say to myself, “Man, that was a good time. I wish I could have that again.”

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