I’d rather shit in my hands and clap….

Hey that guy, that Chris Futchs or Fuchks guy, I don’t know how you say it, but who’s the chick in his Facebook profile pic?


My brother rarely presses me for details about my love life as I’ve basically just dated a string of assholes who have either cheated on me, lied to me or were quite simply douchebags, and hed just rather not hate any more dudes. But last night he asked this question.
“is that his sister or something?”
“no, probably his ex wife. I don’t know because he blocked me from viewing his account and she did a long time ago. That’s what happened, though, he broke up with me to get back with her”
“that sucks. It’s just weird seeing his comments on your status and stuff with a chick on his profile pic that’s not you.”

I was a bit taken aback by this question. Not because I had to explain I was dumped by being deleted from Facebook; not because I saw the disappointment in his face when he saw I’d been hurt again by another asshole guy (maybe they’re just all assholes to him) but because I felt myself growing angry. The whole time Chris and I were together, we never, ever had profile pics as a couple on Facebook. And just days after he left me hang in, his photos of  Hitler, Bill Murray or Skrillex cage had been replaced with a couples shot. Why was I so pissed?

Chris never used his Facebook page except to share jokes and cute pictures of his child. In fact, here’s a funny ecard he posted on his very own Facebook page within the last few months (hilarious isn’t it?)


Ahhh the foreshadowing.

But I was really pissed. Much more than I should have been. It’s just Facebook.

But it isn’t “just Facebook” anymore. Everyone knows that damn site has changed everything about how we interact with everyone! It’s essentially one giant high school cafeteria where everyone is talking loud enough for everyone else to hear or holding up their binders with funny cartoons they drew last period. So why wouldn’t dating and boyfriend girlfriend stuff be included?

Other people have blogged about this, so I’m not going to just rehash how Facebook has changed it all. I just couldn’t believe he changed his pic to a couple shot already?!!?

I was jealous, honestly. The only pictures of myself and Chris on Facebook were ones we took during an amazing weekend at Six Flags several months ago. None were together though. That was one of my pre-deployment regrets– not taking more photos together.

But we took some really great ones the weekend before Halloween, days before he decided to reconcile with his ex. Actually one or two were quite beautiful and candid. The night before I drove him back to his training site (literally a matter of hours before he flaked) we did the cheesy, smooching, hearts over the head photos on his new computer. Normally I’m not into this stuff, which is why it’s not on my Facebook page. But I was looking forward to those photos being emailed to me. They were going to be posted on this blog.

Why was the sudden surfacing of her face again on his Facebook such a big deal?

I suppose since Facebook is the giant cafeteria, Chris is basically screaming to everyone “look at me and my old wife! We’re together again!!” A girl can’t help but wonder why he never did that when we were together…

Yeah, there was the big “relationship status” request the first go around, which is such a freaking big deal these days, I love it. And we were both smart enough to avoid the “in a relationship” to “single” debacle the first go around. But NEVER any relationship exhibition like this. After we decided to give it another try a month or so before the second world war, there was some social media courting (which is what I call posting on each others’ pages) between us, but that was it. Even after we got snap-happy with the camera, he never wanted to share any of it. I was never acknowledged in the social media realm, which he has now proven actually matters to him.

Every woman secretly wants a man to stand in a crowded room and scream that he loves her to everyone. if you have a girlfriend, (boyfriend) wife, fiancee, dudes out there, change your profile picture right now to a shot of the two of you together. Seriously. Such a trivial thing will really make for a big smile on her (or his) face. Then, if things don’t work out, that person will never have to wonder why you never did.

Even if it’s for a day. Do it. If you don’t have any photos, take one. You’ll regret it later.

I guess it isn’t the fact that there were never any photos of him and I together that upsets me. Some people just aren’t into that type of exhibition. I’m more upset that Chris’ behavior has changed so dramatically in such a short period of time. I’m starting to realize the more I learn about this man through the way he has left me that he probably never had any other intention than to use me for whatever he could get. And I gave it all to him. But I did so in private, the way he wanted things, so when I disappeared again nobody would ever know… I don’t know what’s worse. A super-public break-up on Facebook, or being treated like you never existed.

And, on a lighter note, he obviously wouldn’t rather shit in his hands and clap.

**Disclaimer: I cannot see Chris’ profile on Facebook, therefore I do not know for sure whether my assertions in this blog are correct. It is entirely possible that “woman in the pic” could very well be a sister, which would make this entire blog 10 times more ridiculous.**


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